Gonna Get There Someday
by Polaris'05
Summary: On a cold, misty evening, Luke visits the grave of the woman he loved more than any other. Based loosely on the song Gonna Get There Someday by Dierks Bentley. A little bit of Bo and Luke bonding. Oneshot.


_A/N: So I wrote this at about 1:00 in the morning because I couldn't sleep... it's based on the Dierks Bentley song which I love so very much, so I have to dedicate this to my roommate who got me listening to him in the first place._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, or the song!

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**Gonna Get There Someday**

Slowly, the dark haired man made his way across the deserted ground. Although it wasn't that cold out, he shivered slightly under his denim jacket as a stray gust of wind brushed his cheek softly, almost as though it were beckoning him in. The mist that hung in the air from the afternoon rain also met him courteously, parting and drawing back as he approached. Just before opening the cold, iron-wrought fence, he glanced back over his shoulder. He was alone.

It wasn't that he was embarrassed to be making this trip. He just wanted his privacy, which he believed he was certainly entitled to. It was nearly twilight, during that time of day in between the light and the dark. He dwelt briefly on the thought that this was rather symbolic, under the circumstances. Between the light and the dark… wasn't that all life was? There was birth and there was death, but he was living in twilight. He shivered again and pulled his jacket closer around him. Then, taking a deep breath, he began winding his way past the other headstones in search of the one he was after.

He tried not to look too closely at the other grave markers as he trudged slowly along. He didn't want to see the names of all those people who were now resting endlessly six feet beneath him. He had seen plenty of death already. More death than any one person should have to see in the span of a lifetime. He had even done some of the killing. But at least in Vietnam, he had only seen faces for the briefest of moments. Sometimes, he never even saw them at all. But they were only faces… no names. Names made things personal... more personal meant more pain, and so he kept his eyes averted.

His mind was swirling with the thoughts of a much older man by the time he finally found the grave he was searching for. Glancing over his shoulder once again, Luke Duke sank to the damp, chilly ground. In his hand were the daisies he had found by the side of the road on the way in. She would like them. He knew she would. Fighting back tears, Luke reached out a trembling hand and slowly, gently, lovingly, he traced the name that was carven into the cold gray rock.

He had enjoyed the company of many women in his time. He was a Duke, after all. He had met so many girls, and loved them all. Yet he had never really sought after a more lasting relationship, preferring to enjoy the sense of freedom and abandon that came from never allowing himself to be tied down. But her… she had been a different kind of love. If he had ever loved anyone in his entire life, it had been her. She had returned his love, too. This he knew to be gospel truth. She had loved him, and he had loved her, in the unconditional manner that was becoming increasingly scarce in the world.

Taken away so tragically…Luke took a shuddering breath as he tried still to quell the tears that hung from the corners of his normally sparkling blue eyes. He could only fight them so long, he knew. He might as well say what he had come to say, while the grief was still held at bay.

"Well… hi," he began. He shook his head and almost chuckled at how lame he sounded. "I'm… I'm back. It's been a year, now. One year since I… since I've been here. To see you. There's, uh, well there's been a lot goin' on. There's so much to tell you. So many stories, I know you'd love them. You'd enjoy bein' here, with me an' Bo."

He paused, waiting for the tears to fall, but when none fell he continued.

"I've been doin' alright, I s'pose. In spite of myself. I just….well, darn it, I miss ya. I miss ya so much. It don't seem quite fair. I know Jesse says God needed you there with him, but it ain't fair. Didn't I need ya just as much as he did? Why couldn't he have let you stay here?"

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew Uncle Jesse would tan his hide if he heard him say that.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean that, I reckon. I wish I could stop feelin' so bad when I pray, but it just hurts so much. I know it's been so long now, it feels like the pain's not ever gonna stop… but I know I'm gonna get there someday. Anyways," he said, trying to stop feeling so sorry for himself. "it's been goin' pretty good around here. Workin' on the farm is a full time job."

He smiled a small, sad smile as he thought about the work that he and his cousins and his uncle did on the farm. He had lost count of how many times they had nearly lost everything, the land and the farm that held the family together.

"It's been pretty tough sometimes. Rosco and Boss Hogg keep tryin' to snooker us outta that farm. Seems like me an' Bo are always runnin' around tryin' to keep them two from their dirty little plans. Yeah, Bo loves it though. He's still young…life's just one big adventure for him."

He sighed. He knew his cousin was also hurting from loss, but he had somehow kept his youthful innocence in a way that Luke would never have been able to.

"I try to be strong. For Bo, I mean. I try to be a good example for him an' everythin'… it's just that….well, the man that I _want_ to be… just seems so far away from me. There's still things…things that I want to be able to do… to say."

Luke sniffed a little, but the tears were still locked in the deep wells of his eyes. He smiled again as happier memories crept into his mind.

"Glad I got to say everythin' I needed to say to _you_ though. While I still had the chance, I mean. At least there ain't no regrets on that point, right? Because honestly… every moment that I…that I had with you…" Luke choked briefly, but swallowed his pain and hurried onwards. "Every moment I had with you made me who I am today. I mean that. I…I ain't sure where I'd be today, if I hadn't ever had you."

The wind began to pick up again, flitting through his hair. Luke no longer felt welcomed by it, however. It pierced him clear through the bone to the core of his being. He knew it was just the wind, but it felt more like a ghostly dagger, stabbing him through the chest without leaving a visible mark. Whether it was the cold of the air or the cold of his heart, however, he could no longer tell. He tried to think of something happier to talk about.

"Well, I met someone new," he finally said. "A girl. I've been seein' her for a while now. She's lasted longer than most, so I guess she ain't a total loss. Come to think of it," he added thoughtfully. "she's a whole lot like you. So she definitely ain't a loss. But I don't know. I just… I just ain't ready to settle down. I ain't ready. But someday… I'm gonna get there someday."

He stopped again, looking up. He had been sitting there longer than he had realized. The twilight had almost fully settled into darkness. The faintest light from the sinking western sun could be seen glowing pink and gold through the dead, woody branches of the trees.

"Well, uh…I guess I'll be movin' on then," he whispered softly. "I should be gettin' back, or Uncle Jesse'll start to worry." Luke glanced at the bundle of flowers he still held in his hand. "I guess I'll just leave these… leave these daisies by your stone. I thought you might like them. And….and I still miss you. Everyday. Don't you be forgettin' that. I still miss you… and I know we'll meet again. Don't know when… I guess only God can say."

The tears were coming, he could feel them coming. He whispered the last words.

"But I know I'll see you again, someday. I love you… I love you, Momma."

He could no longer hold back the tears. The emotions that were too often repressed in the effort to remain the strong, solid man that people saw him to be all came pouring forth, erupting from his soul with a passion that few ever got to see. They fell thick and heavy on the headstone of his mother, watering the daisies which he knew would wilt away in a matter of days. Such was life.

As he knelt on the cold ground in the chilly Georgia dusk, he was unaware of another pair of eyes, softer blue but just as full of tears, watching him from several feet away. Bo Duke knew he would find his cousin there. Every year, on the day of the car crash that had left the elder Duke an orphan, Luke would come here to visit his mother's grave. Bo had always known about the tradition, but out of respect for Luke's privacy he had kept his distance. But, like any Duke, he just couldn't stand to see anyone in so much pain without trying to help.

Luke felt, more than heard, his younger cousin come up to stand behind him. He felt Bo hesitate, unsure of how welcome his presence would be. Luke considered telling him to leave, to leave him alone, to leave him with his misery. He opened his mouth, but the words didn't come. There was no need. His cousin, closer than any brother could be, already knew what was in Luke's mind.

"She might be gone, Luke, but you ain't never been alone. And you ain't never gonna be," Bo said softly. He knelt down next to his cousin and laid his hands on Luke's shoulders, offering whatever comfort he could. There was no power to bring Luke's mother back, but whatever strength he had, he would gladly give. Luke had spent the majority of his life looking out for Bo, and Bo was now returning the favor.

Luke gave himself up to the sobs that shook his body. His cousin held him tightly, tears of his own mingling with those of Luke's, falling onto the headstone. Bo hadn't been old enough to understand what was happening when his own parents were killed, but he wept now for Luke. They were bonded, bonded as brothers through blood and tears, and he could feel the pain emulating from the older Duke. It hurt him none the less for not being his own. They knelt together in the old cemetery, consumed by grief.

After a while, Luke finally felt the wells behind his eyes dry. There were no more tears left to fall. He took a shaky breath and forced his mind back into reality. Looking around, he noticed that the last vestiges of daylight were gone, and the stars were already twinkling far overhead. Luke turned to Bo, who was also dry-eyed.

"What are you doin' here?" he asked, rather belatedly. Bo shrugged.

"I thought you could use the company," he answered.

Luke nodded his thanks and acceptance. There wasn't really much need for words. He turned to the headstone one last time.

"The flowers will be dead too, in a couple days," he said with melancholy.

"Yeah," Bo nodded with a smile. "but somehow, don't knowing that make them look so much more beautiful now?"

Luke looked up, surprised. He knew his cousin was smarter than some people realized, but it was nevertheless odd to hear something like that coming from him. A smile crept onto his face. There was no way he could remain depressed around Bo for very long. That was his cousin's charm, though he had never appreciated it so much before. Putting an arm around Bo's shoulder, Luke began guiding his cousin back through the mist.

As they departed from the grave, the wind sighed one last time. The breeze kissed him gently on the face, bidding him goodbye. As long as the wind blew across the earth, as long as daisies grew along the road, as long as love endured upon the world, no Duke would ever truly be alone.

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_A/N: Please please please review! Make me feel like I'm actually getting something out of my insomniatic ramblings!_


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